Ed Melia
For some people, their school days can be so tough, they never want to
bother with learning again, and even with the right opportunities it can take a
huge amount of courage to overcome that fear.
In the next in our series of interviews for Sing Up Now, I spoke to Diane Brook from Dorset. It’s a story that proves how different learning as an adult can be.
Diane Brook
I didn’t do much school because when I did go - living on a gypsy site, and
the bus picking you up from where you live – it made life terrible.
When you got to school, they were always picking on you, calling you “gypsy”, “dirty gypsy”. We reported it to the teachers but they didn’t seem to tell them off. It didn’t give you the heart to go to school.
Ed Melia
What impact can that have on a kid?
Diane Brook
It can damage a child. It can damage them mentally. There’s no self worth,
none at all. No motivation, and you think “Oh to hell with it, I’m not going to
bother”.
Ed Melia
So what did you do? Did you just stop going to school?
Diane Brook
I got on the bus, but I used to get off at school and go down town. That’s
why I left school with no exams, no GCSEs, no nothing - no paperwork at all.
It upset me a bit because you to live this life of being tormented, and then when you leave, you apply for a job and get asked, “what qualifications have you got” and you say “Oh sorry, I’ve got none” and you explain, they look down on you like you’re just a bit of muck on their shoe.
I went on the YTS scheme and they found out I was a gypsy even though my dad used to take me in a drop me off. They used to spit on my hair and call me gypsy. Even though I was 15 going on 16 I just couldn’t take it. I ended up on anti-depressants. I did try and take my own life, because the ridicule was just too much. You think “well I’ve got no future to face because I’ve got nothing. No one’s going to give you a chance in this world.” I ended up being a single mum.
Ed Melia
What made the difference? What pulled you out of that situation that you found
yourself in?
I think seeing other people get on. Seeing other people make a life for themselves. I envied them, I really did. I thought to myself, “why can’t that be me?”. So then of course I heard about the project. At first I ‘ermed and ‘arred about it. I think that was the turning point, and plus my age worried me a bit as well. But then you are never to old to start anything really.
Ed Melia
Can you tell me a little bit about the project? What did it involve?
Diane Brook
It’s for gypsies and travellers and it’s called “matchmaker project”. The
European Social Fund gave the project so much and it was to get gypsies and
travellers back into society, because at the moment they are labelled with
“dirty gypsies”, “dirty travellers” and its to show that we can be like other
people if we want, and we can move forward. With the help of the project, we
have – loads of us. Not just me, I mean there’s some people on there, they’ve
taken their HGV and they’ve passed. That’s a young girl. I’m going to college
and am coming up to my second year which I never thought would happen, because
I’m not very good at reading and writing, so I have learning support which does
help tremendously.
Ed Melia
When you first heard about the project there must have been something about it
that made you think: “that’s for me”. What was that? Could you identify that?
Diane Brook
The word “gypsy” I suppose. I though brilliant, at last I’m going to be accepted
for what I am and where I live, and I thought to myself, well if they can
recognise that, other people can.
Being a gypsy is hard, it’s not easy, but I wanted to give myself another chance in life, because the first one I blew through torment and that’s what really drew me to it.
Ed Melia
Can you tell me about the learning that you’ve done?
Diane Brook
I passed three units in my first year. The first exams I sat, I passed. I
screamed the classroom down when I found out. We’ve learned how to different
types of hair, different textures of hair, what massage techniques to use. I
think if I could sum it up, I’ve leaned how to be a professional. It’s something
that I’ve always wanted to do. Being given the chance is just amazing to be
honest
Ed Melia
After what you went though at school, and YTS, which is another learning
environment, what was it like that first morning what you went to college?
Diane Brook
I cried all the way there and we had to meet up in the salon. When people walked
in I took all my jewellery off to fit in and then when they took us to the
classroom I sat down and we had to write our name and address on this wretched
piece of paper and I thought “Oh my lord”. I tried and tried to be the last one
to fill this sheet out, but the worst thing happened and I was the first one. So
of course I had to write “Diane Brook, Caravan 5” and I passed it along the
table and thought “oh god”. I felt everyone’s eyes digging into me and I peeped
up and thought “I’m going to have to sit down and be quiet or I’m going to get
up a cry my eyes out”. But nobody said anything, and from that day, the girl I
sat next to - we became really close mates, best mates. I think the minute I
wrote my name and address on that paper and it went round; I thought to myself:
“This is it. This is going to be the big break, because they know where you
live, they know you’re a gypsy and there’s not been one bad comment”.
Ed Melia
How did it feel to experience that after what you’d been through?
Diane Brook
I felt all lit up inside. It felt amazing and I felt accepted.
Ed Melia
How much do you think their acceptance of you helped you do as well as
you’ve done with your hairdressing.
Diane Brook
A hundred percent, because if they had not accepted me – if I had to go through
what I went through at school – I wouldn’t be there now. I would have done the
same as I had done at school – just packed and gone home, because I couldn’t
take any more of that. Knowing that I am accepted, and are good friends with all
of them, it’s just amazing.
There was this one day, there was this woman coming to take some photos for gypsies, and she wanted to come down the salon to take some photos of me doing hair dressing (this was for the project). I though “oh god, I’m going to have to stand up and make an announcement now to verify out loud that I am a gypsy, and where I live. So I got there and first of all I pulled my best mate Jenny to one side and said “I’ve got something to tell you” and she said “what” and I said “I don’t know how you are going to take this and I hope we can still be friends afterwards” and she said “through it to me” so I said “I’m a gypsy” . She said “so what’s the problem?” and she put her arm around me and gave me a kiss, so told here what I was going to do. She said “whatever happens I’ll be behind you a hundred percent”. So I waited until they had all sat down, pulled the lecturer to one side and told her. It was quiet and she said, “Right, before we start the morning, Diane has got an announcement to make”. I stood up and my legs were like jelly. My hands I couldn’t hold still, and I said “Right everyone, I’ve got something to tell you, and I wouldn’t be telling you all out loud if it wasn’t for these wretched photos that have got to be taken”. I just blurted out “I’m a gypsy!” and I sat down and cried my eyes out. They all stood up and clapped. I’m not sure if I was crying with nerves or happiness because I finally cracked that I’d finally met someone who accepts me for who I am. You are respected. That’s something that you can never ever explain, because inside you feel full of happiness.
Ed Melia
How incredible is it that it took something as straight forward as a
hairdressing course at a college, to break down that barrier for you?
Diane Brook
To be honest it’s unbelievable. I still pinch myself sometimes now to think
I’m actually going to college, and I think “why couldn’t it have been like this
when I was going to school” when I was starting out in life - when I was young.
But then maybe this is my second chance in life and I’m going to grab it with
both hands and make sure that I do a hundred percent and do the best of my
ability and do everything I can properly.
Ed Melia
What would you say to someone who had a terrible time at school, like you had,
and wants to do something with their life, but have been held back because of
that experience?
Diane Brook
Do what I did. Pick yourself up and give yourself that chance, because if
you don’t you are never gong to know. Even if you had the worst ever start in
life. Life is to short to sit down and be miserable, just go for your goal.
Ed Melia
What difference have you noticed in yourself, compared to Diane on that
first morning writing your address down at the salon?
Diane Brook
I’m bursting with confidence. My husband tells me that I’m too bossy. He
said “you are too assertive now” and I feel as though I’m the boss to be honest.
Before I had no self esteem, I didn’t care about anything but I’ve got my
respect back, I’ve gt my feelings back, and I’ve got the best mates anyone could
wish for which I never thought would happen. I feel positive and that’s how I’m
going to stay. It’s all down to learning. My mum and dad used to laugh, “At your
age, you’re too old, you can’t go back.” but you are never too old.
To be honest I feel like a teenager again when I’m at college. Strutting around in my black clothes, because we’ve all got our uniforms and you feel one of them. Age doesn’t matter. So get on out there and do something with your life. Learning has brought me out of my shell, out of the darkness into the light and made me confident.