Rachael: Hello my name is Rachael. I am a student at the Adult College in Lancaster. I have been doing a variety of courses. I have found them all really enjoyable. The tutors have been absolutely brilliant so that has encouraged me to keep coming back and not give up.
Ed Melia, NIACE Press Officer: If you can go back to your school days, what were they like?
Rachael: They were good fun. I worked quite hard. I got a lot out of it because I didn’t have problems mentally until later, when I was in my early twenties, so my school years were okay. I managed to get quite a lot of qualifications. I got my GCSE’s, I got my ‘A’levels, went on to university.
Ed Melia: Tell me what you studied at university and what your university days were like.
Rachael: I studied a course called ‘Environmental Biology’ at Sunderland University and managed to do two and a third years before I had a breakdown in my final year.
Ed Melia: Can you tell me a bit about the breakdown and what happened?
Rachael: I was starting my final year. Basically it was a combination of things: the stress of my final year and the studying aspect was quite difficult so that didn’t help and I was splitting up from my partner as well at the same time. Everything got too much and I snapped; I couldn’t cope any more, and it was just a way of coping really. My brain just said, ‘I am not doing this any more.’ I got very ill.
Ed Melia: Can you describe for someone, particularly someone who has never experienced that kind of thing before, what that feels like?
Rachael: Hard to explain really, I mean at first it feels very strange because obviously I had spent quite a few years well to start having these symptoms that I would say I am used to now, but I can cope with them better now; I have learnt to cope I have had outside help as well. At first when I became ill nobody really knew what was happening. Either they guess or they thought Rachael is having a hard time but at the start it was quite harrowing really.
Ed Melia: What were some of the symptoms like?
Rachael: The voices; hearing voices, delusions, hallucinations. Say for example I was on the train and I hallucinated things; clouds in the sky being dragons and things like that. I wasn’t eating. That made it worse.
Ed Melia: What was the attitude of people close to you; your friends, your family?
Rachael: They couldn’t really understand it. They knew there was something wrong and they wanted to help me and looking back on it, I am glad they did do what they did because I wasn’t getting any better. I was getting worse and worse and worse and it was an enormous strain on my family. Even though it meant going into hospital it was the best thing at the time for me to do to go into hospital. Even though my admission wasn’t very nice and I couldn’t sit down for a long time. I couldn’t eat either. I couldn’t face the dining room for some reason. It was quite strange.
Ed Melia: What happened after that? I mean when did you start to get better?
Rachael: I wasn’t getting any better and I was on a secure unit. I was actually on a section. I actually refused medication (tablet form). In the end they pinned me down and injected me in the bum but on looking back on it, it was brilliant because after a short while of being on the depos I got better quite quickly and I was moved from a secure unit to an open ward which was nicer coz I could come and go as I pleased so in a short space of time I got quite well.
Ed Melia: And what difference was there in yourself from before your breakdown to the Rachael who had just come out of hospital?
Rachael: Very quiet compared to what I was previously. I was not able to communicate as well as I could. I was quite withdrawn really. My family just saw glimpses of me coming back so that gave them hope. They knew I had been through a traumatic period so they gave me time and they had a lot of patience with me; a lot of faith in the fact that I was going to get well.
Ed Melia: How were you introduced to the idea of going back to learning?
Rachael: My mum sort of encouraged me to enrol on the course. She just sort of pushed me a bit. She said ‘ring up, ring up and say you want to come on the course’ and they accepted me so I just went from there really.
Ed Melia: Were you nervous about it?
Rachael: Oh yeh, very nervous. Yeh, yeh.
Ed Melia: Why was that?
Rachael: Getting back to doing things that I had done in the past that I enjoyed and I thought ‘oh god am I going to enjoy it?’ and I did it and it was very rewarding and the tutors were brilliant and the people on the course had been through similar problems to me.
Ed Melia: Can you remember what it was like the first morning before you went in?
Rachael: The first morning gosh (giggles) yes, that was horrible. (giggles again). Yeh, coz I wasn’t sure how I was going to be able to cope with things but once I got here I wasn’t too bad. The college is very welcoming you know.
Ed Melia: What learning have you done since then?
Rachael: A variety. I have done some knew directions courses for people with mental health problems. I have done some mainstream courses like Tai chi and pottery.
Ed Melia: Tell me a bit about the new directions courses.
Rachael: The new directions courses they are very good. Like I say, they are for people with mental health problems so everyone is in the same boat and have been through some similar things. Is just a nice friendly way of learning. There is no pressure on you. You don’t have to do a certificate or anything like that. The tutors are very, very good and they do quite a variety of things ranging from pottery to Spanish and art and they are all on different days; some in the mornings, some in the afternoons.
Ed Melia: Can you imagine what your life would be like now if you hadn’t gone back to learning?
Rachael: I would be very lonely, very isolated. I wouldn’t have the confidence to do the things I can do now like go shopping or go to see a show. I mean, I don’t mind going to see shows on my own or pictures on my own so it has given me that confidence. I like travelling now. I have got a bus pass to I can travel around the area. The learning has definitely given me something to build on.
Ed Melia: How have your friends and family reacted to your improvement, your recovery?
Rachael: Tthey have been brilliant they have seen a lot of difference in me so and now I can talk about what I have been going through as well so that helps. I know if I am not so good I can say I am not so good and get help in that way.
Ed Melia: What would you say to someone - coz you’ve experience it, you’ve live it – someone who is going through a really tough time. What would you say to them to encourage them to get into learning?
Rachael: Keep hope. Hope is a very good thing that you should try and keep. Also the realisation that once you are well again you can get back into learning and it doesn’t have to be a daunting thing. You can get help to come to the college if you are feeling a bit unsure about whether you can cope. Somebody can meet you. They can take you for a drink. It may feel daunting but once you get here it is not as bad as you thought it was going to be.
Ed Melia: And what can they expect for their future?
Rachael: A lot of good things really like making friends, getting to know the tutors, getting to know, a new learning environment. It should bring happiness into their lives. It has done for me and I know it has done for a lot of other people. So .… so just a positive thing really.